I have always been really good at showing up for others. I have the ability to get things done. I pride myself on people being able to count on me. If someone asks me if I can do something to help them or needs my assistance I am going to do everything I can to be there for them. I am good at that. I am good at getting tasks done. I enjoy getting tasks done and making sure that boxes on the to-do list get checked off. I am however not very good at showing up for myself.
Showing up for myself in mental health, spiritual health, emotional health, and physical health has never been a strong point of mine. The entire time I am taking care of others I am placing myself on the back burner. In the last six months of the Covid-19 Pandemic, I have been able to spend a lot of time thinking about how I place everyone else’s needs before my own. This has been a season that I was unable to place the needs of others above my own. In doing so I have had time to really think and pray about the damage I have done to myself by not showing up.
The good news is this damage is reversible, I am working on a plan to make myself a higher priority and in doing so I am still able to serve others, but in a way that is not hurting me and truly glorifying God. I am spending more time in the Bible. I am spending more time praying. I am writing again. I am even developing a plan to start running again. I miss the feeling of accomplishment that running gave me and I plan to get that back.
This year may not be the year that we have planned but it will be the year I look back on and see where I started showing up for myself again.