I know I have mentioned here before how hard running has been for me in the past few months. It has been hard and honestly anytime I have run, I have been miserable. It has not been fun at all. I would finish a run and all I could think about is how awful it was, and how slow I was. I have really been beating myself down for not being as strong or as fast as I was several years ago. I have not been posting about my runs, even though I have been forcing myself to do them. I have been really trying to focus on the fact that I am out there and that is enough. The saying “fake it until you make it” has been my personal motto on every run. I have been trying to just keep a smile at the end of the run and just be proud that it was done and not on time, distance, or anything measurable other than how I feel. Today I decided to run in downtown NYC for the first time. I left my office building and took off for a run in the Financial District of NYC. I am not sure what was different about the run today but I had FUN! I had actual fun! I felt happy and invigorated when I was done. I did not have to just try and cheer myself up. I was legitimately in a good mood and felt amazing. I am going to really try to keep this positive attitude and who knows maybe start saving my runs on Garmin / Strava again. However, for now, and for today the pace, and distance was not important to anyone, not even me. What was important is that I did it. I was and am not fake proud of my run tonight. I am actually really REALLY proud of myself. Who knows maybe I will find running really fun again. I hope so…
