Fear in Training

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Have you ever been sitting in your car at the gym, and actually terrified about stepping out of the car? I am talking being genuinely scared to get out of the car and go inside. I mean this seems silly right, every person in there was once a beginner and yet it is a legitimate fear. I know and understand this fear far too well. This fear actually prevented me from truly becoming involved in a Crossfit gym. I went to a few classes and I knew how amazing everyone was. I even purchased a 10 class pass. This punch pass was good for a few months. I had many nights that I was dressed to go to the class and then the self-doubt would creep in. I would start to think that people were thinking mean things about me when I was doing the workout. I need to say here that I know for a FACT that the people at my particular Crossfit box are simply the best. They truly wanted me there. They helped me in every single workout that I actually got the nerve to show up to. They were as I stated early simply amazing. I, however, have so much self-doubt and fear that people are judging me, or waiting for me to fail that I do not even bother to show up. I would purposely work late. I would find myself getting “stuck” in traffic. I know this is silly but this is the reality of real fears. I would like to say that I conquered these fears. I would like to say that I went back and that I am now happy as a member of this Crossfit family. I however can not say that (for now). I let the classes expire. I let fear win. I will be back once I am able to afford another 10 class punch card. I will try this again. I will eventually win and my own fears will lose.

-Leona

PS

I know that there are some people who do fat shame plus size or Athena Athletes in a gym setting. These people though are douche bags. They do not represent the majority they are the minority in the fitness community. The fitness community as a whole is what Crossfit 904  and what PRS Running Club has been to me. They have been excited about my journey and happy that I have included them in this crazy and fun and sometimes hard (okay, most of the time hard) thing called a healthy lifestyle.

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